Guinevere Gets Sober

Recovery news, reviews and stories, by Jennifer Matesa.

Prince.

Prince

I’ve been waiting to comment about Prince, because the tox screens aren’t yet in.

It’s not like it was with Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was found dead with the rig still in his arm and drugs all over the house.

But today the New York Times is running a front-page feature about Prince’s apparent addiction to painkillers. Associates have been saying since the day he died that he’d had hip surgery because of his acrobatic performances onstage, in high heels.

princesplits_1bi2hnl-1bi2hnq

Prince was a short guy—five-feet-two. He was slim and lithe, and he spent decades bounding onstage with guitars strapped around his torso. Guitars are basically pieces of solid hardwood. They’re heavy, man.

prince-guitar

And the high heels—they look awesome, but they hurt the whole body, not just the feet.

prince-high-heels

In the years I’ve been running this blog, I’ve heard from so many people who became addicted to painkillers because they felt the need to push themselves past the limits of their bodies. Speaking for myself, I sought treatment for two painful neurological conditions in the early 2000s, when OxyContin was being jammed onto the medical market. I was assured by high-level pain experts that there was little risk of my becoming addicted because I had “legitimate pain,” but within a couple of years I was being prescribed massive doses of fentanyl, and I was abusing it.

Not many people make it off fentanyl alive.

I’m able to manage my pain without dependency producing drugs, because I have learned to work within my limitations. It has been a frustrating and humbling experience. My constant pain reminds me every day that I have to take care of myself in ways that are different from what I learned as a kid, and also ways that are different from what the culture would have me do—which is take drugs.

When the CDC last month issued new guidelines for opioid prescribing, Center for Disease Control Director Thomas Frieden M.D. noted in the New England Journal of Medicine, “Initiation of treatment with opioids is a momentous decision and should be undertaken only with full understanding by both the physician and the patient of the substantial risks involved.”

Drugs are not inherently evil, but they carry particular dangers. We live in a culture in which these very powerful chemicals are prescribed by doctors, many of whom do not understand their powers. And that ignorance is then passed to patients, who then learn not to respect the powers of the chemicals.

In Prince’s case we still do not know the autopsy findings, but reports from associates serve to remind the public of the importance of considering one’s penchant for using substances to drive oneself past one’s own limits. The artist formerly and belovedly known as Prince was a true original—as a friend of mine put it, “his own freak.” He was also a human being and a businessman, and he wanted to keep doing what he was doing despite the limits of age and physical injury. Unfortunately the human animal is not built to jump off stage risers in high heels for more than three decades without sustaining chronic injury. However artistically independent Prince was, a little humility is called for to accept the limitations of the human body and mind.

I’ve always found it pretty ironic that when Pink Floyd was writing their song “Comfortably Numb,” the working title was “The Doctor.”

Come on, now
I hear you’re feeling down
Well, I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again …

Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working good
That’ll keep you going through the show
Come on, it’s time to go

Prince-1

 

4 Comments

  1. Sherri VandenAkker

    May 6, 2016 at 11:24 am

    Thank you for this insightful and gorgeous piece; I’m so glad you made it out not only alive, but with wisdom, courage, and heart.

  2. So true, my father lost his whole life to prescription drugs. It’s so very easy to fall into…because you want to trust the doctors and not be in pain anymore…and yet such a deadly trap.

  3. Hi, Sherri! Good to read from a familiar face who also shared so much insight and healing with the world with your documentary. I cherish it and suggest everyone near, dear, and healing to watch it. Thank you with my whole heart.

  4. Thank you so much for this moving, insightful piece, full of wisdom for the journey of countless. Prince captured my heart and creative spirit from the first time I heard his music…and his performances (including his last one, which I attended in Atlanta) were magical. So much magic and brilliant artistry that yes, sometimes I have to remind myself that he was indeed beautifully HUMAN. Your post helped me to come to terms with that as well as with my grief more.

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