Guinevere Gets Sober

Recovery news, reviews and stories, by Jennifer Matesa.

Step 11: Meditation and letting go

Left Yorkshire today for five days in London. Said goodbye to the family… and to my mother-in-law’s garden Buddha…

My sister-in-law says I can take him back to the States in a spare case. I was amazed… doesn’t anyone else want him? Should I take him back?—I don’t know. I’ll be charged extra by the carrier; will customs confiscate him due to the moss he holds in his hands, the lichens growing on his thighs?

He would remind us both of Mum and Dad and of this lovely place.

Would he find a home amongst our hot American flowers?

I’ve lifted him. He’s not as heavy as he looks.

Here he is with a stray cup of tea someone left in the garden…

A bit of vine was growing under his arm.

Mum would have trimmed this away, but she can’t take care of the garden anymore.

Mum’s hellebores are nodding behind him… And weedy grasses are invading his lap.

It’s been sunny in Yorkshire since I arrived Monday. I keep mentioning this… it’s because Yorkshire is such a rainy land. I sat with Buddha and looked at the beauty Mum had created over the 30 years she and Dad have lived in this place… My husband grew up with this mother. A mother who found a stone Buddha and set it gently beside the frog pond.

For the past 20 years, this garden has been a fixture of my imagination. This house. I don’t live here, but at a moment’s notice I can come here when I’m troubled. In the kitchen Mum is always making tea…

How could I ever have thought anything is forever?

My husband’s family home will be sold this summer…

I love how straight Buddha sits. His posture is perfect. His smile is gentle and patient.

1 Comment

  1. It’s hard to get to the point where we can quiet our minds. I do it most effectively when I am on my boat or on the water. Prayer and meditation are what calms me.

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